Could somebody please explain the parenthood thing to me again?
I’ve been listening to parents a lot over the past year or so and they all have one thing in common – they complain a lot. I don’t point this out to be critical; from the stories I’ve heard, parents have every right to complain. From what I’ve heard, parenthood is a messy, expensive, frustrating exercise in exhaustion. From infants who refuse to sleep to toddlers with a fascination for fishhooks and razorblades to teenagers who are (to put it in the best possible way) tireless advocates for justice from Those Who Would Oppress Them, parenthood seems like a really tough job. It sounds, frankly, a lot like a really bad day at the office that never ends.
And yet, I know that this can’t be the case. As self-destructive as people are in general, I can’t believe that generation after generation of humans would engage in this kind of social investment if it wasn’t pretty darn satisfying on a day-to-day basis. My wife and I are planning to start a family soon and I’d really like to be straight on this.
What I want to know is this: What is the up-side to parenthood?
Important Must-Read List of What I am NOT Saying:
1) I don’t like children
2) I don’t like your children
3) Parenthood is bad
4) Anything else that might offend you before I can get the information I need
I present the above list because over the past several weeks, I’ve managed to strike the wrong note in conversations that started with questions like, “So why did someone like you ever become a parent?” (which, if you think about it is a pretty good question, even if it sounds really offensive). I realize that waiting around for positive parenting stories is not going to be very productive. Negative experiences make better stories and nobody wants to sound like they are bragging about their kids. I’ve realized that I need to ask pointed questions of current parents of children.
So here is what I’d like from you, Manchester: What do you like about being a parent?
Important Must-Read List of What I Do NOT Want:
1) Cute stories. While I realize that the time Little Boris told you he wanted longer arms so that he could hug God, is very important to you, it’s not exactly what I’m looking for. I want to know about the parenting process from your perspective; what do you get out of it?
2) Reasons why I am an insensitive pig for asking this question. Obviously, I’m missing something here, or I wouldn’t be asking for help. Emails saying, “You just don’t get it” are definitely true, but not very helpful to the cause.
3) Encouragement to refrain from breeding. See above.
4) Cute stories. This can not be emphasized enough.
Drop me a line, a few sentences, or a paragraph at most, telling me what makes being a parent meaningful and enjoyable to you. I will share what I learn with you at a later time.
