They gasp out broken fragments of an on-going conversation. They can't remember when
it started. They don't even try to guess when it might end. Each man simply tries to hold
up his end of the dialog, ignoring the pain and the cold and the mind-numbing monotony
of the road.
It is the quintessential Male Bonding Experience - a shared activity: a long, excruciating,
competitive and ultimately pointless activity with the promise of beer to follow.
It is Fladd's turn to carry the lion's share of the conversation. He tells his story in ragged
gasps. He uses short, staccato sentences, the kind Hemingway would use if he was an out-
of-shape runner trying not to pass out. He tells a story about struggle. He tells a story
about redemption.
One of the most important reasons for running with a partner is to provide conversation.
Of course there are other benefits - the partners push each other's limits, they provide
motivation and keep each other from taking themselves too seriously - but by and large, the
main reason to run with a partner is to keep from going hopelessly insane from boredom.
Fladd discovers this one day when he goes running by himself. He makes the mistake of
watching a few minutes of Sesame Street before he runs and is driven to the brink of
madness by the refrain to "The Monster In the Mirror" repeating itself again and again in
his head over the course of a twelve-mile run.
Another benefit of running with a partner is the fact that it is marginally more difficult to
talk yourself into doing something stupid if you have someone to bounce ideas off of.
Case in point - one night, Fladd is preparing to go on a run by himself. He is just lacing up
his shoes and putting on his silly-looking reflective vest when the phone rings. He answers
it. It is a friend, inviting him to come out for a few drinks. This presents a dilemma of
Homeric proportions - Whether to go running or to go to the bar... The options bounce
back and forth in his head: Running. Bar. Running. Bar.
He decides on a compromise. He'll run to the bar.
In his defense, it has to be pointed out that he doesn't run DIRECTLY to the bar - he runs
a ten mile loop around town and ENDS UP at the bar. He goes in with the intention of
just popping in, greeting a few friends, drinking a diet soda and going home.
[Editor's note - If you believe this....]
Then he drinks a beer. "After all," he reasons, "who deserves a beer more than me?" True
enough, but a rationalization that competely ignores the fact that he has just sweated away
several pints of body fluid which he is now replacing with alcohol. Next come the beer nuts.
"Hey," he thinks to himself, "I've been exercising. I need the protein." The problem of
with this line of reasoning is that it ignores the fact that beer nuts call for the drinking of
more beer. That in turn, leads to Fladd's final, fatal error of reasoning, which can be
summed up in six words - martini olives are not green vegetables.
The lesson to be learned from this - a twenty mile training run can me made in the rain, in
a howling blizzard, with a raging fever or past angry, snarling dogs. It can not be made
with a hangover that would stun an ox.
Reese too, has problems running solo.
He leaves Fladd one day for a training run. He comes back, panting and sweaty, 45
minutes later.
"A good run?" Fladd asks. Reese gasps an assent.
"How far did you go?" Reese gasps some more and holds up ten fingers.
Fladd raises an eyebrow - at his steroid-heightened best, Ben Johnson MIGHT have been
able to sustain a speed of 15 miles per hour. He starts to say something, then recalls that
Reese had been willing to accept his sudden bout of the "flu" after the Night Of The
Martini Olives, and lets the subject drop.
But both men agree to run together whenever possible. They keep each other honest.
They (usually) keep each other grounded in some form of reality. Mostly however, they
keep each other entertained.
Thus Fladd and Reece's extended training conversations, which start out at a fairly high
level of sophistication, eventually deteriorate as the runners exhaust all the topics that hold any
interest for them - sports, women, politics, women, cocktails,serial killers, women, a
scene-by-scene depiction of the film Gattaca - until finally, they reach the point where
Fladd is reduced to describing his favorite childhood book in excruciating detail.
